1.wake up to baby with explosive diarohea and projectile vomiting stinking green slime
2.hot water service stops working
3.after several hours hot water service is pronounced dead
4.decide to move to new flat three weeks earlier than planned
5.new flat is disgustingly dirty
6.start cleaning new flat, while holding baby with explosive diarohea, projectile vomiting and howl-inducing tummy aches
7.give up cleaning flat for baby to vomit on
8.midnight walks through amsterdam to doctor and night chemist
9.lie awake all night staring at the ceiling after baby tries to choke on its own vomit
10.move more things, clean more spaces for baby to vomit on.
11.anti-emetic stops baby from vomiting, but resulting tummy ache stops him from drinking or eating
12.lie awake all night staring at the ceiling after baby wakes howling when the paracetamol wears off
13.baby has also stopped pissing
14.baby stops pooing, starts drinking and pissing.
15.babie’s mother has nervous breakdown and retires to bathroom armed with bathbombs
16.baby wakes up like it never happenned.
postcards from the north 